16-year-old gets tired of 17-year-old brother making her late for school, lashes out at parents for enabling him: 'I can get ready in 20 minutes. He takes over an hour'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 30, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Sibling relationships are sometimes the kind that are easier to have at a distance. If you're lucky, when you're both adults you can look back and laugh at the disagreements that you had when you were growing up together, but they can be unbearable when you are experiencing them. This is especially true when you're a teenager, and if you feel like your parents might be playing favorites.

For one 16-year-old, this is exactly the problem she feels like she has been facing with her older brother. When their dad drives them to school, he has consistently made them late by taking too long to get ready. On top of that, he has displayed other entitled behaviors that led to her arguing with her family about his incompetence. Thankfully for her, the internet was on her side about this issue. It seems like it's time that her brother grew up.

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    Cheezburger Image 10434608384
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    AITA for screaming at my parents because of my brother's lateness that keeps ruining things for me?
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 03
    I (16F) feel like I've hit my limit with my older brother (17M). Over the past two weeks, I've had mock exams at 8:40 AM. When my dad is home, he drives us instead of us taking the bus. You'd think this would make things easier, but my brother ruins it every single time.
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 04
    I told him to be ready by 8:05, but he was late every single time, usually by 10 minutes or more. He'd blame my mum for his late breakfast or say he couldn't find his clothes. When I pointed it out, he'd tell me to "just take the bus" instead of owning up. But when my dad is home, I'd rather not waste money on the bus or stress about whether it's on time.
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 05
    During his exams, I was ready early every morning and sat at school 40 minutes early just to help him. But now that it's my turn, he doesn't care. He told me to wake him earlier if I want him ready, but why should I? I can get ready in 20 minutes. He takes over an hour and still blames everyone else. He never faces consequences. My school starts earlier, and my teachers are strict because I was often late last year. If I'm late now, I'm humiliated in front of my class and given a 30-minute deten
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 06
    It's not just about school. We had doctor's appointments booked 10 minutes apart. I let him take the earlier one since he wanted to get to school faster. He had two hours to get ready but still made us late because he was brushing his teeth at the last second. If we missed the check-in, we'd have waited hours, but he didn't care and said, "I'll just take your appointment." Once again, his lateness would have had me take on the consequences.
    via WrongCalligrapher
  • 07
    This happens all the time, and I'm exhausted. Between exam stress and constantly cleaning up his messes, I finally snapped. I screamed at him and my parents, calling them all incompetent. My parents allow his behaviour and treat a 17-year-old like a baby. My mum makes him 3 dishes for breakfast, packs him lunch even though he already eats at school, and cooks two dinners for him-one before and one after his gym session. He demands every meal of his has to have protein in it. If his football clot
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 08
    He does nothing for himself because he knows my parents will pick up the slack. He spends hundreds of pounds every Christmas and birthday but won't lift a finger for anyone else. Whenever I try to talk about it, my parents tell me to "let it go" because "talking about it won't change anything." I'm sick of being punished for his selfishness and being treated like my frustration doesn't matter. All I've done is try to stay organized, but all the consequences land on me while they don't affect him
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 09
    Tdluxon NTA... ...But I don't think yelling at your parents will ultimately get any change (feel free to do it anyways just for fun if you want). I'd just always plan to take the bus, handle everything for yourself on your own and just focus on handling you. Even if your dad offers to drive you, just tell him "no, you've made me late too many times, I can't be late again and I can't trust that you'll be on time." It's unfair but at this point they aren't going to change. and you'll probably be m
    via Tdluxon
  • 10
    WrongCalligrapher 115 OP Thank you! Usually the bus doesn't come early enough for me to attend help classes before the exams so I guess I'll have to give that up. I dont think anything I say to my parents will help them wake up so yes you're right, I'll just start being more independent. Thanks again :))
    via WrongCalligrapher115
  • 11
    Tdluxon It's not fair to you but continuing to rely on them and hoping they will change is just going to be a de d end. It's possible when you start just leaving on your own it will get their attention but even if things changed at first, they would probably fall back into old habits pretty quickly.
    via Tdluxon
  • 12
    you shinycaptain21 Why can't your dad drive you and your brother take the bus if he isn't ready?
    via shinycaptain21
  • 13
    purple235 Because brother is the favourite
    via purple235
  • 14
    Dazzling-Plastic1327 Probably because it's easier for them to do what OP's brother wants instead of dealing with his sh fits if he doesn't get his way. It's easier for them to tell OP to keep the peace than for them to acknowledge that they're parents and that their eldest child will be the worst kind of person.
    via Dazzling-Plastic1327
  • 15
    sezit NTA, but you are upsetting yourself by begging and pleading when you just need to accept that your dad doesn't care, and your brother is selfish and vindictive. They will not change. Can you bike? Can you get a ride? Stop depending on your dad. He obviously values your brother above you, and your brother is being late on purpose. Make your own arrangements, stop yelling and just say flatly that you know they won't take you on time, and that your brother's purposeful lateness is more import
    via sezit
  • 16
    Sometimes, saying these harsh truths in a calm voice can make parents really reexamine their behavior. But one way or another, you can't trust them, at least not for quite a while.
    via sezit
  • 17
    HandBananasRevenge NTA. They needed to hear it, though I doubt they'll do much. Your brother is the golden child and they have coddled him way too much. It's sad because they have done him such a disservice. Your brother is going to be in for a very r de awakening when he realizes that unlike his parents, the rest of the world won't tolerate his BS. I would figure out how to separate yourself from being reliant on your brother for anything. It's beyond him simply being inconsiderate. This is wea
    via HandBananasRevenge
  • 18
    desticon Honestly, a 17 year old who needs mommy to do his food and clothes to this extent is just laughably pathetic. If I were OP I would just become as independent as she can as others have suggested. And chastise and mock her bother relentlessly for being a useless mamas boy at literally every opportunity.
    via desticon
  • 19
    Stoned Moosie He gave you the solution. Wake him up earlier. Wayyyyyyy earlier. Like the second you get up, let an air horn go in his room.
    via StonedMoosie
  • 20
    creepyb ttcute She shouldn't have to wake her brother up in the first place, she's not his mother.
    via creepybttcute
  • 21
    Stoned Moosie You're right. She shouldn't. But mom isn't doing it and isn't going to do it. So now she gets a pass to wake him up however she wants.
    via StonedMoosie
  • 22
    DamnitGravity You're learning a harsh lesson of life: sometimes, friends and family just aren't reliable people. The second lesson is that you can love someone, but not like them. You're also about to experience something almost every woman and a lot of men have dealt with: checking out of the relationship. You're at home still, you still talk to your family in a civil manner, you may even have fun now and then, but overall, you put up a wall to protect yourself. You need to become independent,
    via DamnitGravity
  • 23
    NTA. Yelling at your parents has likely done nothing, and their behaviour won't change. They won't realise what an entitled little b rd they've created until he either fails to get a job and move out, or he moves out and still expects them to take care of him and pay his bills. Meanwhile, you'll be living your best life, and won't need them. They will only be in your life if you want them.
    via DamnitGravity
  • 24
    Pterodactyl Noises Be a dear and do help him wake up. Throw a glass of cold water on his face every morning! Maybe he'll change then... NTA
    via Pterodactyl_Noises
  • 25
    Floating-Cynic I went through years of therapy over the same level of injustice. Your parents are telling you they don't care and won't try to change things. Your brother is saying he doesn't care and won't change. Believe your family: they don't care and won't change. You are NTA, and your brother might never see justice: but your parents will if you treat them like they aren't trustworthy. Treat them as not dependable. Don't let them have access to important parts of your life. FWIW: my favore
    via Floating-Cynic

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family drama aita school brother argument family sister reddit thread Reddit entitled people siblings late parents
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